Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Mental Principle #6: Don't be a lone wolf, run with the pack

Isolation is out, connected is in. Isolating yourself to accomplish anything alone is a losing strategy. Isolation is helplessly weak, while connected is immensely strong. When a person is only thinking about getting fit on their own, or doing anything on their own, I call it lone wolf syndrome. If we don't connect to other people, we are not as happy in the process of getting fit, which is unmotivating, and we rely solely on our knowledge base, perspectives, self talk and will power to find the path to success and stay on it. It is through sharing ourselves (our goals, our struggles, our knowledge, our connections) that internally we get better clarity about what we want, how to get it and strengthen our own confidence, resolve and ability to be successful. Externally we engage those we share with in helping make them a reality through emotional support, knowledge, perspectives and connections. Furthermore, the more times we share our desires and intentions, the greater the multiple of all the benefits just described.
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Seek out wise coaches and supportive friends who can get you through the moments of confusion and weakness. Who will you call or visit when your emotions get the best of you, and they will at some point, or you start breaking your own guidelines/step goals.

Experience the power of sharing. Sharing is by far the easiest and most powerful tool within these principles to drastically increasing our probability of success. So skip the small talk and share your goals and struggles with everyone: parents, colleagues, coaches and the person next to you at the gym however big or small. When someone says “How’s it going?”, try giving them the real answer and see what happens. I guarantee 99% of the time you will not only become closer to that person, but they will offer up some bit of helpfulness that will accelerate you on your path to success. If it’s on your mind, open it to the world to solve by sharing it without concern. “Talk it out til ya know how to walk it out.”

The fear of embarrassment and judgment too often holds us back from connecting with others on the issues most important to all of us and such repression leads only to negative behaviors. The fact is that we are judged harsher by people when we don’t communicate as people have nothing to go on and may even feel slighted that you didn’t care to share.

Find good people, create that safe place and ask them to keep you accountable to what you say you are going to do. Make it clear that you honestly want them to call you out when you are going astray and give you the caring criticism that will make all the difference between failure and success. It goes both ways of course so we need to deeply engage in the aspirations and struggles of our partners. Once you see the universe working to help you and your partners, you’ll start to see all people in your life, especially new acquaintances, as your little helpers, put there just for you at the exact moment you needed their help.

Remember - "Individuals can Fail but Teams still Prevail"


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